Ripped Body

Do the DJ Khaled test: stand naked in front of the mirror and bounce up & down like a angry squirrel, and if something wobbles you're out of shape. (balls not included)

Asozialer Azzlack

Die Limousinen sind deutsch, die Uhren aus der Schweiz
das Steak argentinisch, die Huren aus Tschechei
die Kugel aus Blei, das Blut aus deim Fleisch
Turban um den Hals, ich bin Kurde du weißt

... I save energy by shitting in the dark.

... as a side effect it helps to calm the nerves, especially true for @work toilet visits. Oh, and the first person to quote the first law of thermodynamics in the comments has herpes!

Fat Guy Eating In Car Theory

I want to introduce you to the fat guy eating in car theory today. When you see a fat guy eating in a car you usually think: "Wow, what an undisciplined human being and what a waste of sperm." When you see a thin guy eating in a car you are like: "Wow, this guy gets it in. This is probably his first meal of the day, he's a tireless workhorse."

The same applies for ring girls in MMA. The girls working for high profile organizations like the UFC are called "aspiring models". The ones in minor league combat sports are called "strippers".

... even if you are a frequent flyer!

Wer ausser mir, haelt noch Blickkontakt mit den Stewardessen (und Stewards /no homo) waehrend sie die Notfallainstruktionen kurz vor dem Start vorfuehren obwohl man sie schon oft genug gehoert hat? Ich tue das aus reiner Hoeflichkeit obwohl es a) dem Kabinenpersonal egal ist und b) in wirklichen Notfallsituation eh nichts hilft, weil b 1) alle in Panik geraten, weil das b 1.1) menschlich ist aber auch weil b 1.2) keine Sau (ausser mir) bei den Instruktionen zugehoert hat - am wahrscheinlichsten aber b 2) eh alles zu spaet ist, wenn der Notfall erstmal eintritt.

KLM Stewardess

First of all, Happy New Year! We look forward to serving you in 2011.

God bless France or at least sth about frog eater country. Hit up YouPorn.com and type in "Stewardess" and you will see 2 videos of a KLM girl in action - showing off topless in an airplane.
This is real and not fake. #t2f

In 2011, I'd like to do more for the community. I am going to start reading (my biography) to overprivileged kids.